I am feeling so depressed. Don’t feel like working or doing anything. Just want to start drinking vodka. But I know i shouldn’t. It is killing me. Have to stay away from alcohol. It’s difficult. All I can think of is the bottle of Vodka sitting in my mini-bar. Can’t stop thinking of how good it would feel just to have one drink. One teeny tiny drink.

But the problem is - even if I do have that drink, it will not stop at just one drink. Before I know it I’ll start finding excuses to keep drinking. And tomorrow will be the same.

I don’t even get drunk nowadays. My body has adjusted to the alcohol. There is no pleasure - it just takes this depression away.

Maybe writing in this blog will make it easier for me to resist.